Honestly, you cross my mind a lot. Even though you fucked me over to the point where I’m emotionally scarred, I still think about you all the time. I don’t think about how much I hate you (okay..sometimes) and I don’t think about how much I love and miss you (okay sometimes) but mostly I just think about what you’re doing…replaying memories of us and wondering if when you were looking at me then did you really not give shit like I know you didn’t? Mostly I wonder if you EVER cared.. I feel like an idiot. Sometimes at night when I lay in bed and think about all what you’ve done to me I have to dig my nails into my skin just to stop from screaming or crying. I lay in bed and look to the spot next to me where you’ve been many times. In my head I say fuck you continuously. I guess what hurts the most is that I know you’re not thinking about me. When I drive past your house my fingers tighten on the steering wheel and I feel like crying and also like stopping the car getting out and just see you.. I just can’t believe I wasted two years of my life on you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I just hate you. I don’t wish bad on you but I certainly don’t wish good. If you ever try to talk to me, I hope I have the courage to say fuck you to your face. Actually, I know I will.

Wish I had the courage to say everything I planned to.